How to Get Even With Someone

Garage Sale

• Place an ad in the classified section of your local newspaper advertising a GIGANTIC Garage Sale listing the address of your victim. Advertise televisions, cam-corder, vintage automobile, antiques, etc. Sale begins at 6:00 a.m. all items in the backyard, just come around back and come early!

X-Rays at Airports

• Purchase a large adult bedroom toy. Wrap it in a large amount of tin foil. Secretly hide it in a piece of the victims carry on luggage. As it goes through the airport x-ray machine the contents of the device will be shielded by the tin foil and will be unwrapped and inspected by airport security officials. An absolute classic...

Oil Spot

• At night pour used oil underneath the victim's car while parked in the driveway. Pour enough that will be alarming. Continue to do this each night. The subject will spend great deals of money trying to get the oil leak repaired time and time again. I have even heard of a person buying a new car after the repeated attempts at repair. Imagine their surprise when that new car starts leaking too.

Flat Tire

• Very similar to the Oil Spot, but with a twist. Let most of the air out of one of your victim's tires. Keep doing this each night, and watch as they call a tow truck or the Automobile Club day after day. Odd how those new tires keep losing air, too.

Paper Money

• Write a sexually oriented solicitation message, victim's name and phone number (inviting a phone call) on the edge of several pieces of paper money before spending them. The victim will receive many eye popping inquiries. Another favorite...

Fax Machines

• Write whatever you wish on 9 pages of 8 1/2 by 11 inch paper and tape them together (end to end). Dial the victim's fax number and start sending the pages through. After page two has been transmitted, tape the top of page 1 to the bottom of page 9 making a continuous loop. The document will continue to cycle until the victim's fax machine has run out of paper. Be sure and disable your phone number from being printed on the fax and also disable caller I.D. This prank is great to get even with a business or individual who has somehow cheated you. This can have same results as Oil Spot.

The 10 Most Puzzling Ancient Artifacts

The Bible tells us that God created Adam and Eve just a few thousand years ago, by some fundamentalist interpretations. Science informs us that this is mere fiction and that man is a few million years old, and that civilization just tens of thousands of years old. Could it be, however, that conventional science is just as mistaken as the Bible stories? There is a great deal of archeological evidence that the history of life on earth might be far different than what current geological and anthropological texts tell us. Consider these astonishing finds:

The Grooved Spheres
Over the last few decades, miners in South Africa have been digging up mysterious metal spheres. Origin unknown, these spheres measure approximately an inch or so in diameter, and some are etched with three parallel grooves running around the equator. Two types of spheres have been found: one is composed of a solid bluish metal with flecks of white; the other is hollowed out and filled with a spongy white substance. The kicker is that the rock in which they where found is Precambrian - and dated to 2.8 billion years old! Who made them and for what purpose is unknown.

The Dropa Stones
In 1938, an archeological expedition led by Dr. Chi Pu Tei into the Baian-Kara-Ula mountains of China made an astonishing discovery in some caves that had apparently been occupied by some ancient culture. Buried in the dust of ages on the cave floor were hundreds of stone disks. Measuring about nine inches in diameter, each had a circle cut into the center and was etched with a spiral groove, making it look for all the world like some ancient phonograph record some 10,000 to 12,000 years old. The spiral groove, it turns out, is actually composed of tiny hieroglyphics that tell the incredible story of spaceships from some distant world that crash-landed in the mountains. The ships were piloted by people who called themselves the Dropa, and the remains of whose descendents, possibly, were found in the cave.

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The Ica Stones
Beginning in the 1930s, the father of Dr. Javier Cabrera, Cultural Anthropologist for Ica, Peru, discovered many hundreds of ceremonial burial stones in the tombs of the ancient Incas. Dr. Cabrera, carrying on his father's work, has collected more than 1,100 of these andesite stones, which are estimated to be between 500 and 1,500 years old and have become known collectively as the Ica Stones. The stones bear etchings, many of which are sexually graphic (which was common to the culture), some picture idols and others depict such practices as open-heart surgery and brain transplants. The most astonishing etchings, however, clearly represent dinosaurs - brontosaurs, triceratops (see photo), stegosaurus and pterosaurs. While skeptics consider the Ica Stones a hoax, their authenticity has neither been proved or disproved.

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The Antikythera Mechanism
A perplexing artifact was recovered by sponge-divers from a shipwreck in 1900 off the coast of Antikythera, a small island that lies northwest of Crete. The divers brought up from the wreck a great many marble and and bronze statues that had apparently been the ship's cargo. Among the findings was a hunk of corroded bronze that contained some kind of mechanism composed of many gears and wheels. Writing on the case indicated that it was made in 80 B.C., and many experts at first thought it was an astrolabe, an astronomer's tool. An x-ray of the mechanism, however, revealed it to be far more complex, containing a sophisticated system of differential gears. Gearing of this complexity was not known to exist until 1575! It is still unknown who constructed this amazing instrument 2,000 years ago or how the technology was lost.

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The Baghdad Battery
Today batteries can be found in any grocery, drug, convenience and department store you come across. Well, here's a battery that's 2,000 years old! Known as the Baghdad Battery, this curiosity was found in the ruins of a Parthian village believed to date back to between 248 B.C. and 226 A.D. The device consists of a 5-1/2-inch high clay vessel inside of which was a copper cylinder held in place by asphalt, and inside of that was an oxidized iron rod. Experts who examined it concluded that the device needed only to be filled with an acid or alkaline liquid to produce an electric charge. It is believed that this ancient battery might have been used for electroplating objects with gold. If so, how was this technology lost... and the battery not rediscovered for another 1,800 years?

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The Coso Artifact
While mineral hunting in the mountains of California near Olancha during the winter of 1961, Wallace Lane, Virginia Maxey and Mike Mikesell found a rock, among many others, that they thought was a geode - a good addition for their gem shop. Upon cutting it open, however, Mikesell found an object inside that seemed to be made of white porcelain. In the center was a shaft of shiny metal. Experts estimated that it should have taken about 500,000 years for this fossil-encrusted nodule to form, yet the object inside was obviously of sophisticated human manufacture. Further investigation revealed that the porcelain was surround by a hexagonal casing, and an x-ray revealed a tiny spring at one end. Some who have examined the evidence say it looks very much like a modern-day spark plug. How did it get inside a 500,000-year-old rock?

Ancient Model Aircraft
There are artifacts belonging to ancient Egyptian and Central American cultures that look amazingly like modern-day aircraft. The Egyptian artifact, found in a tomb at Saqquara, Egypt in 1898, is a six-inch wooden object that strongly resembles a model airplane, with fuselage, wings and tail. Experts believe the object is so aerodynamic that it is actually able to glide. The small object discovered in Central America (shown at right), and estimated to be 1,000 years old, is made of gold and could easily be mistaken for a model of a delta-wing aircraft - or even the Space Shuttle. It even features what looks like a pilot's seat.

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Giant Stone Balls of Costa Rica
Workmen hacking and burning their way through the dense jungle of Costa Rica to clear an area for banana plantations in the 1930s stumbled upon some incredible objects: dozens of stone balls, many of which were perfectly spherical. They varied in size from as small as a tennis ball to an astonishing 8 feet in diameter and weighing 16 tons! Although the great stone balls are clearly man-made, it is unknown who made them, for what purpose and, most puzzling, how they achieved such spherical precision.

Impossible Fossils
Fossils, as we learned in grade school, appear in rocks that were formed many thousands of years ago. Yet there are a number of fossils that just don't make geological or historical sense. A fossil of a human handprint, for example, was found in limestone estimated to be 110 million years old. What appears to be a fossilized human finger found in the Canadian Arctic also dates back 100 to 110 million years ago. And what appears to be the fossil of a human footprint, possibly wearing a sandal, was found near Delta, Utah in a shale deposit estimated to be 300 million to 600 million years old.

Out-of-Place Metal Objects
Humans were not even around 65 million years ago, never mind people who could work metal. So then how does science explain semi-ovoid metallic tubes dug out of 65-million-year-old Cretaceous chalk in France? In 1885, a block of coal was broken open to find a metal cube obviously worked by intelligent hands. In 1912, employees at an electric plant broke apart a large chunk of coal out of which fell an iron pot! A nail was found embedded in a sandstone block from the Mesozoic Era. And there are many, many more such anomalies.

What are we to make of these finds? There are several possibilities:

• Intelligent humans date back much, much further than we realize.
• Other intelligent beings and civilizations existed on earth far beyond our recorded history.
• Our dating methods are completely inaccurate, and that stone, coal and fossils form much more rapidly than we now estimate.

In any case, these examples - and there are many more - should prompt any curious and open-minded scientist to reexamine and rethink the true history of life on earth.

Paradox

A paradoxical notice

PLEASE IGNORE THIS NOTICE

Some proofs

Happiness or a ham sandwich?

Which is better, eternal happiness or a ham sandwich? It would appear that eternal happiness is better, but this is really not so! After all, nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a ham sandwich is certainly better than nothing. Therefore a ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness.

The liar paradox

The following version is the version which we will refer to as the liar paradox. Consider the statement in the following box:

THIS SENTENCE IS FALSE

Is that sentence true or false? If it is false then it is true, and if it is true then it is false...

The following version of the liar paradox was first proposed by the English mathematician P E B Jourdain in 1913. It is sometimes referred to as "Jourdain's Card Paradox". We have a card on one side of which is written:

(1) THE SENTENCE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS CARD IS TRUE

Then you turn the card over, and on the other side is written:

(2) THE SENTENCE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS CARD IS FALSE

... Another popular version of the liar paradox is given by the following three sentences written on a card.

(1) THIS SENTENCE CONTAINS FIVE WORDS

(2) THIS SENTENCE CONTAINS EIGHT WORDS

(3) EXACTLY ONE SENTENCE ON THIS CARD IS TRUE

Mobius band W

A Mobius band has just one side and just one edge.

Penrose triangle W

Necker cube (Freemish crate) W

Ames room W

Missing square paradox W

Arithmetic and algebraic paradoxes

Proving that 2 = 1

Here is the version offered by Augustus De Morgan: Let x = 1. Then x² = x. So x² - 1 = x -1. Dividing both sides by x -1, we conclude that x + 1 = 1; that is, since x = 1, 2 = 1.

Quine, p.5

Assume that

a = b. (1)

Multiplying both sides by a,

a² = ab. (2)

Subtracting b² from both sides,

a² - b² = ab - b² . (3)

Factorizing both sides,

(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b). (4)

Dividing both sides by (a - b),

a + b = b. (5)

If now we take a = b = 1, we conclude that 2 = 1. Or we can subtract b from both sides and conclude that a, which can be taken as any number, must be equal to zero. Or we can substitute b for a and conclude that any number is double itself. Our result can thus be interpreted in a number of ways, all equally ridiculous.

Northrop, p. 85

The paradox arises from a disguised breach of the arithmetical prohibition on division by zero, occurring at (5): since a = b, dividing both sides by (a - b) is dividing by zero, which renders the equation meaningless. As Northrop goes on to show, the same trick can be used to prove, e.g., that any two unequal numbers are equal, or that all positive whole numbers are equal.

Here is another example:

Proving that 3 + 2 = 0

Assume A + B = C, and assume A = 3 and B = 2.

Multiply both sides of the equation A + B = C by (A + B).

We obtain A² + 2AB + B² = C(A + B)

Rearranging the terms we have

A² + AB - AC = - AB - B² + BC

Factoring out (A + B - C), we have

A(A + B - C) = - B(A + B - C)

Dividing both sides by (A + B - C), that is, dividing by zero, we get A = - B, or A + B = 0, which is evidently absurd.

Kasner & Newman, p. 183

Proving that n = n + 1

(a) (n + 1)² = n² + 2n + 1

(b) (n + 1)² - (2n + 1) = n²

(c) Subtracting n(2n + 1) from both sides and factoring, we have

(d) (n + 1)² - (n + 1)(2n + 1) = n² - n(2n +1)

(e) Adding ¼(2n + 1)² to both sides of (d) yields

(n + 1)² - (n + 1)(2n + 1) + ¼(2n + 1)² = n² - n(2n + 1) + ¼(2n + 1)²

This may be written:

(f) [(n + 1) - ½(2n + 1)]² = [(n - ½(2n + 1)]²

Taking square roots of both sides,

(g) n + 1 - ½(2n + 1) = n - ½(2n + 1)

and, therefore,

(h) n = n + 1

Kasner & Newman, p. 184

The trick here is to ignore the fact that there are two square roots for any positive number, one positive and one negative: the square roots of 4 are 2 and -2, which can be written as ±2. So (g) should properly read:

±(n + 1 - ½(2n + 1)) = ±(n - ½(2n + 1))

Left-handedness test

How Left Are You?
You may be more left-handed than you think

We all, of course, know in which hand we hold a pen, but how far does this bias extend throughout your body? Are you left-eared? Left eyed? Here is a simple test you can apply to yourself.

1. Imagine the centre of your back is itching. Which hand do you scratch it with?
2. Interlock your fingers. Which thumb is uppermost?
3. Imagine you are applauding. Start clapping your hands. Which hand is uppermost?
4. Wink at an imaginary friend straight in front of you. Which eye does the winking?
5. Put your hands behind your back, one holding the other. Which hand is doing the holding?
6. Someone in front of you is shouting but you cannot hear the words. Cup your ear to hear better. Which ear do you cup?
7. Count to three on your fingers, using the forefinger of the other hand. Which forefinger do you use?
8. Tilt your head over on to one shoulder. Which shoulder does it touch?
9. Fixate a small distant object with your eyes and point directly at it with your forefinger. Now close one eye. Now change eyes. Which eye was open when the fingertip remained in line with the small object? (When the other eye, the non-dominant one, is open and the dominant eye is closed, the finger will appear to move to one side of the object.)
10. Fold your arms. Which forearm is uppermost?

If you have always considered yourself to be right or left-handed you will probably now have discovered that your body is less than total in its devotion to its favored side. If you are right-handed the chances are that you were not able to be 'right' 10 times, or vice-versa.

Ten things I want to teach my daughters

Ten things I want to teach my daughters:

1. Don't let other people decide your future for you. Your dad and I are included in this list of "other people". I want what's best for you, but you have to decide what's best.

2. Beware of any group, political party, religion, or person who claim to have all the answers or to know the "true" way. No one has all the answers, and the is no one, true way. People who make claims of having special knowledge will only lead you into trouble if you let it.

3. Love your sister. You will have ups and downs throughout your lives, but if you let your sister be your best friend, then no matter what happens, you'll have someone to lean on.

4. Learn about the world. School will give you limited information, with most of it slanted a certain way. Learn as much as you can about other cultures and beliefs so that you can better understand both the world and yourself.

5. There are very few situations you'll encounter in life that can't be made more bearable by a Dave Matthews song.

6. Read everything you can.

7. I'm always proud of you, even when you screw up (those are just your actions, YOU are not a screw up).

8. Don't let people boss you around, but don't boss others.

9. There's nothing you can't tell me or your father.

10. Nothing I'll ever accomplish will be more important or more significant than being your mom. You'll feel the same way when you have kids ... after you turn 20 and I let you start dating.

More About Me

10 strange things about Me:

1) I started crying when I first heard the Linkin Park and Jay-Z single. I'm emotional.

2) I wear my pj's all day if I can.

3) I can't stand if I don't have polish on my toenails. It can be chipping and all ugly, but I think my feel look weird with no polish.

4) I almost soak my sliced meat sandwiches w/ vinegar, either red wine or malt if it has bacon.

5) My sister Morgan (http://www.myspace.com/mcharboneau), husband Preston (http://www.myspace.com/pdog69), dad Matt (http://www.myspace.com/mattcharboneaujr), step-mom Holly (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=32332202), and B (Brandon)(http://www.myspace.com/brandonbaker13) are my top 5 favorite people, but I can't put them in any kind of order, they're just grouped!

6) I always have to make sure people know I'm not a typical bitchy, stupid, can't-do-anything-for-herself, naggy, immature girl. I know how to change my oil, and I do. I know how to drive a stick, cook dinner, take responsibility for my actions, work hard, and speak the English language the way it's taught, and not the way it's "spoken" in the southern states.

7) I don't shave very often.

8) I think I only read at an 8th grade level, because I NEVER read anything in my reading/english classes in school. I read very slowly, and if I don't read every word (Preston doesn't read the little "filler" words like "and, but, the, etc"), I will not understand nor pay attention to what I've just "read."

9) I am extremely interested in science. I love the Discovery Science channel!

10) Next time I visit my dad and my sister in Colorado, we're all going to get a tattoo on the pad of our thumb of a "buddy." When we were little, our dad would always draw "buddies" (smiley faces, but w/ character - kind of like Guy Smiley from Sesame Street) on our thumbs. It was my dad's idea, but we didn't have the money at the time, AND I didn't know if I REALLY wanted a buddy on my thumb forever - but now I regret that we didn't do it!


1.What does your Myspace Name MEAN?
It's my "petname" my husband, Preston, calls me - either Poodie or Poodiekins. (I don't use that name much anymore!)

2. Where was your default picture taken?
In our livingroom, before we went to Daytona for Bike Fest (Bigger than Stergis). And yes, I'm wearing a tank-top w/ a strapless bra.

3. What's your middle name?
Marie

4. What is your current relationship status?
I'm happily married, Preston is my best friend - I love him so much! August 26th, 2007 will be two years.

5. Honestly, if someone were to tell you how they felt, would you listen?
Yes. I always listen. I love hosent conversations, as long as the other person is open to hear my opinion and advice, although I'm not the kind to get all butt-hurt if you don't follow my advice!

6. What is your current mood?
I'm really bummed I can't spend more time w/ my hubby and daughter. I started a night job - hurricane shutter business slows around the holidays :(

7. What do you love most?
Wow, a lot - umm.... great music that get's me in an awesome mood. My family, it really sux being 2000 miles away!

8. What makes you happy?
Preston, Gracie, and being able to talk to my dad everyday!

9. Are you musically inclined?
I know when people mess up, but I can't do it better, so sometimes I get criticized just because I'm not tone-def. I played the trumpet for 8 years so I know how to read music and play in tune - honestly, that would be my dream job: playing trumpet in a full orchastra performing scores for movies - like Gladiator, Pearl Harbor, Lord of the Rings, etc.

10. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
I'd just suck it up and did my school work, not dropped out. I know i'd be so much better off if I knew how important it was/is.

11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day- what would you be?
Hmmm..... a jellyfish? Idunno, that's a tuffy!

12. Ever have a near death experience?
Nope.

13.Something you do a lot:
Play WoW, think about my hubby, analyze.


14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head?
"Waitin' on the World to Change."

15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Shelly

16. Name someone with the same b-day as you.
Don't know anyone... it's October 13th.

18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
NO!

20. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
Body size, I like big guys, big boned or just big bodied, I don't like 'em too fat, but I hate skinny guys. A good middle ground avg. look I like is Vincent D'Onofrio in The Cell - right before he puts the collar on J-Lo, w/ those big pants, I also like Seth Rogen in The 40 yr old Virgin, Russel Crow in the Gladiator, James Gandolfini from the Soprano's, Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit, etc.

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Don't go to Starbucks, I like the flavored coffees from regular ol' gas stations.

23. Ever had a drunken night?
Duh.

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Yes, especially A Christmas Story!

26. Do you have braces?
I did.

28. Name something funny that happened to you today.
Gracie's just hillarious.

29. Do you speak any other language?
Umm... I took French for three years, but I haven't spoken it in 6.

30. What's your favorite smell?
Too many, but I'd say Mulled Cider. It reminds me of a great fall fest-type get together I was at w/ my parents when they were still married. Almost Halloween, we went on a hay ride, had a party in a barn, it was nice!

My Spiritual Beliefs ~ Neo-Pagan

What do you believe in?
http://www.beliefnet.com/Entertainment/Quizzes/BeliefOMatic.aspx


Neo-Pagans are a community of faiths bringing ancient Pagan and magickal traditions to the modern age--including mostly Wicca but also Druidism, Asatru, Shamanism, neo-Native American, and more. Neo-Pagan is an umbrella term for various and diverse beliefs with many elements in common. Some Neo-Pagans find no incongruence practicing Neo-Paganism along with adherence to another faith, such as Christianity or Judaism.

•	Belief in Deity Some believe in a Supreme Being. Many believe in God and Goddess--a duality. Many believe there are countless spirit beings, gods and goddesses, in the cosmos and within all of nature--God is all and within all; all are one God. The Great Mother Earth, or Mother Nature, is highly worshipped. Divinity is immanent and may become manifest within anyone at any time through various methods.
•	Incarnations No human incarnations are worshipped in particular, as all of nature and the universe are considered embodiments of God and Goddess, or of gods and goddesses, worthy of respect, reverence, or worship.
•	Origin of Universe and Life Generally, there is no conflict between observations revealed through science and Neo-Pagan beliefs on origins of the physical universe and of man. Many believe in a supreme intelligence that created a duality of God/Goddess who then created a spirit world of gods and goddesses as well as all of the universe and nature.
•	After Death Many believe in reincarnation after some rest and recovery in the "Otherworld." There is generally no concept of hell as a place of punishment, but some believe wrongdoing can trap the soul in state of suffering after death. Some (Wicca) believe the soul joins their dead ancestors who watch over and protect their family. Some believe that life energy continues in some, if unknown, form. Some believe in various spiritual resting places. Many say we don't or can't know what happens after death.
•	Why Evil? "Evil" is imbalance. Most believe there is no evil but rather that people sometimes make mistakes. Wrongdoing results when we forget we are one with the universal spirit.
•	Salvation The concept of "salvation" is essentially irrelevant; rather the belief that people can attain spiritual balance and harmony with each other and nature. The path includes group ceremonies, dances, songs/chants, prayers, meditation, trance, altered states of consciousness, the metaphysical, magic, invoking or evoking deities or spirits, Tantric practices. Intercessors are commonly used: psychics, seers, shamans, tarot, Oui-Ja board. Ethical choices are influenced by a belief that one is rewarded or punished within this or after this lifetime for one's choices and an ethical code to do no harm.
•	Undeserved Suffering Most do not believe in Satan or any spirit being as the cause of suffering. Some believe in a karma-like principle, that choosing to live a life of wrongdoing and pain will naturally result in suffering in this or later lifetimes. Many view suffering as a result of spiritual imbalance in one's life or on the planet or in the universe. The focus is generally on healing suffering rather than answering definitively why it exists.
•	Contemporary Issues Abortion is not condemned, as there is no official doctrine; beliefs about abortion range the full spectrum. Views on divorce, homosexuality, and gender equality are generally very supportive of human differences, equality, and personal choice. Many believe that involvement in community action, especially regarding environmental concerns, is integral to the belief in human interdependence and worship of the Earth Mother.

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking according to the way you answered the questions.

1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. New Age (98%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (92%)
4. Mahayana Buddhism (82%)
5. Theravada Buddhism (82%)
6. Liberal Quakers (78%)
7. New Thought (69%)
8. Taoism (68%)
9. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (66%)
10. Scientology (65%)
11. Secular Humanism (63%)
12. Reform Judaism (58%)
13. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (53%)
14. Nontheist (44%)
15. Sikhism (38%)
16. Jainism (36%)
17. Orthodox Quaker (36%)
18. Hinduism (36%)
19. Bah--'-- Faith (27%)
20. Orthodox Judaism (21%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (19%)
22. Islam (15%)
23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (15%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (8%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (6%)
26. Roman Catholic (6%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (0%)

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The Last Lecture ... for everyone!